New Studio Hangs
there's never enough time in spaces like this
I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’ll never have enough time to make all the things that I wanna’ make.
I, like most artists, have to work another job in order to keep the bills paid. I do know that I’m privileged in other ways that make my life a little cheaper than others’. I am just thankful (and maybe lucky? but idk if I believe in luck) that my “day job” is still a creative one. I have had a graphic design contractor job for the last seven years which is a guarantee at this point. I don’t think I’ll ever be fired, the company will have to go under for me to be out of a job. My boss started this company seven years ago and I was his first employee and the only one that has lasted this long. He jokes that I’m written into his will (I’m still not 100% sure if it’s a joke or not).
But as I spent my first week moving and settling into my new basement art studio away from my house, time has been on my mind a lot. It’s quiet in that basement and I hate wearing headphones, so being down there has given me plenty of time to sit and think:
How am I going to juggle my contract job, freelance jobs, and studio time?
What does the timing look like for my life now?
How did I schedule things when I was doing my art residency?
What do I need to do to still get alone time, quality time, and social time in between home design work and studio hours?
Sometimes I wish I had been born many decades before so I could be some of the few artists in New York or San Francisco still benefitting from laws that prevent their huge lofts from raising rent prices. Then, I’d be able to afford to just sell a big painting here and there to survive in a big city. I wish that I was an artist in the 70s living a romanticized version of “Just Kids” by Patti Smith, but then I remembered they were poor, starving, and living in the mold and cockroach-infested Chelsea Hotel. I don’t wanna’ do that. I wish I’d started saving for life when I was a one-year-old lmao.
Ever since my grandma died, I’ve also been thinking about time and that lifetimes are too short. There is too much to do. My great-grandma was just a few months shy of 100 when she died. I bet she still had things she wanted to do. Even if I made it to 200 years old, I bet there would still be more I’d like to achieve, create, and experience. I wanna live forever but also I don’t; that sounds exhausting.
Y’all heard of the phrase, “You must suffer for your art”? Maybe this is the common suffering for all artists: we never have enough time to make all of the art we want to create. Especially nowadays, when it costs an arm and a leg just to survive.
But I always figure out the timing. I always figure out how to make money. I always figure out how to do a new skill. I always figure it out and I’m not sure how, but I do.
Here’s what I’ve been listening to:
Blue by Joni Mitchell
This recording by Hurray for the Riff Raff
Here’s what I’ve been reading:
The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers
The Dharma Bums by Jack Kerouac
Frankenstein Issue 1 by Michael Walsh
Anyway, if you’re local and wanna schedule a studio visit or buy some art, just email :)
I've been thinking a lot about stuff like this too ✨ thanks for sharing!